Al Gritzmacher's Blogosphere

Bandanas are indespensible.

They’re a scarf, a hat, a personal cooling device, a neck protector in hot sun. They’re a washcloth, a towel, a cleaning rag. You can wear one by itself, or under another hat.

I used to think they were not cool. Something only a hick farmer would wear. (No farmers aren’t hicks, or not cool, either. That’s just the stereotype.) So I never had any.

But this year our robotics team used them as a fashion accessory to help make our team stand out and issued us each two, one red one and one blue one, to be used to show which alliance our team was currently on. If that doesn’t mean a thing to you, that’s okay, just know that I ended up with two of them after the competitions were over.

I started carrying one with me on my bike this summer. I perspire a lot and it’s been a hot, muggy summer so far. Having it handy to wipe the sweat out of my eyes has been indispensable. Recently, on a ride, my bandana got so soaked with sweat that I decided to rinse it out in the restroom at a park we stopped in. Not only did it feel great to wipe my face with the cool cloth, when I was done and had rinsed it again, I put it around my neck. Instant air-conditioning! The more I rode, the more it cooled me!

I’ve tried sweat bands before, but they are only so effective. Once they get soaked, rinsing them leaves them yukky and they loose their elasticity. Don’t rinse them out and after a while they are disgusting. Bandanas are much better than a terry sweat band. And you don’t need to buy wrist bands either. Just wrap a bandana twice around your arm and tie. Voi-la!

They’ve been so handy, I think I’ll pick up some more. I just hope someone doesn’t think I’m in a gang or something. What color should I get so that no one thinks I’m a Crip or a Blood?

Here’s a safety question for you:

Q.: When a pickup truck cuts in front of you and stops dead in the road to make a right turn into a driveway, and you are traveling downhill at about 30mph on a bike, what is your proper response?

A.: Pass the pickup truck on the right and hope he sees you and doesn’t drive over you as he turns.
B.: Pass him on the left, and hope there isn’t any traffic in that lane that will make you a meat pancake.
C.: Crash into the rear end of the truck to let him know you don’t appreciate his cutting you off.
D.: Squeeze your brakes for all you’re worth, while yelling at the top of you lungs: “NO! You @$$#Ø13 Don’t stop here!”

Continue Reading…

Dear Volkswagon,

What’s up with your commercials? You don’t get to punch someone for a Tiguan. And it’s called Punch Bug, not Punch Dub.

What’s with the “dub” business anyway? Dub is a form of music, based on Reggae.

Look, it’s a childish game that we’ve all played, but your marketing department doesn’t get to change the rules to suit your ad campaign. It’s a pop culture thing, and manipulating it to suit your sales ought to be a big flop.

Leave it to Wikipedia to have the whole story: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Punch_buggy

And what’s up with the name Tiguan. Tiger and Iguana? Oh yeah, that’s the image I want my car to suggest…

I’ve been using Windows 7 for a while now on several computers and have to admit, I’m pretty happy with it, despite the fact that, even with all the hype, it’s really what Vista should have been, maybe after a service pack.

You must have seen the annoying commercials like the one above, where people seem to think that Microsoft actually listened to them and took their advice on some little nitpicky thing. Well, Microsoft, here’s My Idea (TM). Continue Reading…

Yep, I’m calling it. Shenanigans! You all know I love to be the skeptic and question the answers. Here’s one that come along out of CES, the Consumer Electronics Show, last month that just refuses to die.

Here’s why I call shenanigans and call this snakeoil: Continue Reading…

No, this isn’t about a medical breakthrough. We’ve all seen and eaten those candy hearts that seem to be everywhere around Valentine’s Day. They are about 100% sugar and have some clever saying on them. Well, as clever as you can get in about 10 letters and two lines.

I found some interesting ones in this year’s batch:

They’ve updated the little slogans for the modern day. They’re catering to the smart cell-phone crowd, apparently. The first heart in the photo says “CALL ME.” Okay, that’s probably not so new.

The second and third say “TEXT ME.” Now, that’s definitely very 2000′s.

The third one, though, just proves the end of civilization is near and we’ve just gone too far. It says “TWEET ME.” Go figure. Candy that Twitters…

Well, I’m kind of embarassed to admit I killed my truck.

I went skiing last Thursday and on the way home, I had a mishap. I can’t explain it, just all of a sudden, the truck was spinning and hit the snowbank, not nose-first, not back-first, but full on sideways and flipped over. It caught the running board in the snow and rolled, ending up sitting on the driver side in someone’s side yard.

No one was hurt. No other vehicles were involved and no property – other than mine – was damaged.

I’d never been in a rollover crash before. I was leaning against the driver door window with the seatbelt still holding me in the seat wondering what to do next. I wasn’t confused, nor did I lose consciousness, but I just needed to assess the situation and figure out the best course of action to a situation I hadn’t encountered before. Once I had decided that the vehicle wasn’t about to burst into flames or explode imminently, I decided to get out. I suppose that would have been the same decision, had the truck been in flames, but I had time to decide how to do it elegantly. I turned off the ignition and was annoyed that the radio kept playing. It does that. The Envoy doesn’t turn off the radio until you actually open the door.

Opening the driver door was out of the question, the truck was sitting on it. So I decided to go up, to the passenger side. I released the seatbelt and immediately fell into a heap on the door. I got up and stood up. The door was still what seemed like far away. I decided to see if the window would roll down. I then realized that to operate the window, I had to turn the ignition back on. I could reach the button for the window and it went down a bit sluggishly. Somehow I found a foothold and managed to climb up and out and sat on the side of the truck before jumping down to the ground.

The first thing I saw was a guy with a mountain bike on the shoulder of the road talking on a cell phone. He asked if I was all right and if anyone else was in “there.” He was reporting the mishap to the police. Continue Reading…