Little-known facts…

Well, not to be outdone by Barak Obama’s big speech at the republican Convention, John McCain couldn’t wait until next week to announce his running mate.

In what is quickly becoming an Internet meme, people have begun Twittering Sarah Palin Little-Known Facts.

Here’s some of the best – Sarah Palin Little-Known Facts:

…Sarah Palin keeps her hair in a beehive to hide her ninja weaponry.

…will send Biden a pre-debate cheat sheet. The sheet will have tips on defending against Kung Fu Death Grip.

…became governor because five children left her with too much spare energy.

…The Russians sold Alaska to America because Sarah Palin would not submit to autocracy.

…The Arctic Circle runs through Alaska so the Sun can have some relief from Sarah Palin’s bright glare.

…Sarah Palin is allowed first dibs on Alaskan wolfpack kills.

…personally hog-tied two reps from Planned Parenthood who came knocking at her door.

…Sarah Palin’s hotness is the largest single contributor to melting polar ice caps.

…is the “other” whom Yoda spoke about.

…Sarah Palin’s presence in the lower 48 means the Arctic ice cap can finally return.

…kicks Chuck Norris’ ass.

…Sarah Palin’s pageant career ended early so other women could have a chance.

…wears glasses lest her uncontrollable optic blasts slaughter everyone.

…without her glasses, looking deep into Sarah Palin’s eyes will blind you with the beauty of the tundra sun.

…will give birth to the man who will lead humanity’s war against the machines.

…is the missing Cylon.

…Global Warming doesn’t kill polar bears. Sarah Palin does. Gnerally with her bare hands.

…is the only woman who can make Tony Romo WIN a playoff.

…Alaska is the 49th state solely because they knew even in 1959 that Sarah Palin never finishes last.

…knows the location of DB Cooper’s body because she threw him from the plane.

… the Northern Lights are really just the reflection from Sarah Palin’s eyes.

…paid her way through school by hunting for yeti pelts with a slingshot.

…Chuck Norris wishes he was Sarah Palin trapped in a man’s body.

…killed and ate the Grizzley Man.

…once guided Santa’s sleigh through an Alaskan blizzard with the light from her smile.

…fishes salmon by convincing them it’s in their interest to jump into the boat.

…once won the Iditarod without any dogs. She simply willed the sled to victory.

…used to wrestle kodiak bears in Alaskan bare knuckles fight clubs.

and the best one of all:

…It’s not raining in DC. Those are God’s tears of joy that McCain picked Sarah Palin.

Oh, well. Kind of juvenile, but funny!

Posted in Humour, News, Rants

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