That’s right, I’ve got an idea that’s a guaranteed money-maker. Please, please, don’t call and ask for a handout, I’m not rich yet, but it’s just a matter of time.
We were watching the TV news and they had a thing on the sports where a viewer writes in with a sports question. They question today? Why aren’t there female referees in professional football?
Well, I’ve got the answer. And it led to the money-making idea.
The answer: Because they are all tied up with the women’s league.
I know. There isn’t a major woman’s football league. I think someone tried to start one. Maybe it’s still around, but no one seemed to know.
So that’s the idea. The WAFL – Womens American Football League. Why not? Men would watch in droves if it was on TV.
First of all, some uniform changes would need to be made. Think bare midriffs, short tops with bikini bottoms. Oh yeah, definitely gets the male viewership. Of course something would have to be done to make up for the lack of protection afforded by full-coverage uniforms. Buy I’ve got that covered: A special playing field, mud or maybe even jello! Who could resist watching athletic women tackle each other in that?
Of course, female referees would be needed. How about some black/white striped shirts tied above the navel and short shorts? Like Daisy Duke with more authority. Inspiring!
The cheerleaders might be a problem, though. Male cheerleaders was the first thought, but who wants to see that? Well, what straight guy wants to see that?
So instead of cheeleaders, why not monster trucks? They could race around the outer edge of the field between plays and for halftime, hold a duel between the opposing teams “cheer-trucks” in the field. Then they’d refill the field with fresh mud/jello for the second half.
How can you go wrong? I can see great TV ratings. Don’t thank me, just send the checks… I’ll be waiting in the politically-incorrect lounge.
Has anyone told you that you have way too much free time on your hands since you retired? That’s the only explanation I have for this. Isn’t this what the Bud “Lingerie Bowl” during the Super Bowl is? Funny idea, though – WAFL, the monster trucks, etc. The monster trucks are in reality a little impractical since i understand it takes a they need a lot of space and it takes a lot of time for the venue to set up for them. If it could be done, though, I would go for lots of corporate sponsorship like Nascar and foreign soccer. There should be names of all sorts of beer, liquor, tobacco products and especially auto emblazoned on everything. In fact, the dueling monster trucks should be sponsored “big giant pick-up truck” against “cool sports car”. Oh, I almost forgot – brands of aftershaves and colognes that are only sold in supermarkets and drugstores. That should be macho enough. Hey, if we can put up with David Beckham being brought to the States in a feeble attempt to interest Americans in pro soccer, we can handle this.
Actually, this reminds me of how I once surmised how topless bars were invented. You know how at jr. high dances the boys never dance and just stand around so the girls have to dance with each other? I figured two boys were standing around by the refreshment table. One says, “We’re here drinking punch and watching the girls dance. What could be better than this?” The other one says, ” If this was beer, and the girls were naked.” Ba-dum-bum! And those two are now probably wealthy club owners in Vegas.
“Has anyone told you that you have way too much free time on your hands since you retired?” – Yes. Many times!
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